the lost boy.report.2.28.14

Lullaby.report.2.25.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE I was abstinent yesterday.  Well despite my best intentions of staying home I ended up driving for my mom yesterday.  I didn't feel great but we got the job done, I also picked up a few cheap cd's for the radio so that was a bonus.

 I was very mindful of my tone and interactions with mom, I did my best to make the trip and day as easy as possible for her.  She often reminds me I don't know what its like to have memory issues like she does, I sometimes forget so I make it a point to remind myself.  I find I must have deliberate intentions in my day or things get pushed to the side.  My goal is to create a structured schedule for my day that focus on the important things I need to accomplish while putting my program at the forefront of everything, this is something I have struggled with

Plan of Action

Prayed (soon as I woke up and hit the lights)
Submitted meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan AS Written and report ANY changes
Pray before and after my meals
Text Phil before and after my meals
Call Phil (done)
Be mindful of my actions today
Reach out to others and be of service
Take recovery actions, do readings at home, listen to some positive materials
Read Step 1 in AA 12&12

bad medicine.report.2.24.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday
Do not feel well at all today but I got up and I am getting after it anyways.  I am supposed to travel down country today but my brother might be able to do it instead which will allow me to stay home and sleep and not wear myself out.  Initially I was hesitant I didn’t want to put him out, but he offered and it’s better that someone go with my mom than she go alone, so I will let him.

Plan of Action

Prayed (yes I did)
Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to meal plan as written and report any changes
Pray before and after meals
Text Phil before and after meals
Call Phil
Do readings
Make 2 recovery calls

twisted transistor.report.2.23.14

Good morning 

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was not abstinent yesterday.  I started coming down with something last night and went from feeling fine to miserable in a short amount of time.  I had tremendous headache and felt shaky as if my blood sugar was low, however that was not the case but I reached for a soda none the less.  I have a character defect I really need to pray to have removed where when I am not feeling well, all rational thinking goes out the window, there is no thought, there is no prayer there is only solving the problem.  I am not sure if I am grateful or worried that this only happens with small things such as soda, the thought of say having a top 3 binge/trigger food doesn't come to mind, if it does its quickly is shut down and not thought of again.

 I guess I am troubled that it’s so easy for these minor slips to happen, well maybe minor is not a proper word to use.  I am still grappling with the concept that liquid stuff with sugar and a bunch of calories is just as bad as solid food.  That is something I have struggled with since day one.  I have yet to take my sponsors advice and reach out to him, or others.  I keep willfully making the choices on my own because “it’s not a big deal” I know that it is a big deal in my heart, my brain not so much.  I have to admit I am feeling rather badly about this whole thing.  I have come SO far over where I was last year at this time yet I keep mucking around with these small, insignificant things, I guess the problem is glaring me in the face.  So long as I keep treating this stuff as trivial it will remain so and thus I won’t make progress.  I want recovery, I want abstinence, I want freedom from the compulsion so I need to pray and take action

I already sent out another email but I won’t be doing the Skype meeting today due to sickness.  Hopefully someone else will step up and take the reins today.  Please send me your Skype handle so I can make a list we can exchange with people in the group.

Plan of Action

Prayed (I sure did)

Submit meal plan (done)

Stick to my meal plan as written, report any changes

Pray before and after meals

Text Phil before and after meals

Call Phil

Make recovery calls

Read literature

lose.you.report.2.21.14

Good morning

my name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday.

Not much to report, yesterday was a decent enough day. 


Plan of Action

Submit meal plan (done)
stick to meal plan report any changes
pray before and after my meals
text phil before and after my meals
call phil
be of service by making recovery calls
read my big book

wild wild life.report.2.20.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday.

I had a good enough day yesterday, it was a rare one where I did not do my update or words of encouragement, I am getting those done first thing today to avoid that happening again.

I was upset about something that happened the previous day, well I was REALLY upset the previous day due to my keys being lost *chuckles* but I talked it over with Phil and he helped me understand my place in the issue and what actions I could have taken.  The silver lining is yesterday I called the store where they may have been left and sure enough they were exactly where they were left.  The store is kind enough to mail them up to me I just have to pay for shipping.  In the end it just makes my work like a little jumbled as I cannot get into work just yet, but I will have my keys back soon so it won’t matter.  Phil asked me if I was glad I didn’t eat over it, and YES I am very glad I did not.

Plan of action

Pray (did it)

Submit meal plan (done)

Stick to my meal plan and report any changes

Pray before and after my meals

Text Phil before and after my meals

Call Phil

Be of service and make 2 recovery calls

Read step 1 in the AA 12&12

Organize my files and listen to a positive one on meditation

Here without you.report.2.18.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday.

Not much to say today yesterday was good.  I got some recovery calls in, I did some readings it was a good day.
I am on the road today taking mom to an appointment; once again we will be racing the winter weather home, I CANNOT WAIT for spring.  I really love where I live.  I am small town at heart despite not really fitting in around here.

 It’s tough to be part of the crowd when you have ideas and plans that are bigger than most.  Most people are happy and content to stay right here and never leave, which is fine for them; there is nothing wrong with that at all.

I just want to do more and its tough to do from here, also the this winter has been really cold and lots of snow, not much fun at all *chuckles*  I will have to leave here one day, but that day is not today.

Plan of action

Pray (soon as my feet hit the floor)
Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan as written report ANY changes to Phil
Pray before and after my meals
Text Phil before and after my meals
Call Phil
Do recovery readings; take my BB on the road so I can read/highlight
Make 2 recovery calls
Do 10 pushups (done)
Pray before bed

Hate my life.report.2.17.14

Incidentally before you ask the title of my blog is a song title, I am good with my life :)
Good morning

my name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday

Not much to say this morning i pretty much said it all yesterday *Chuckles*  had a GREAT skype meeting, very powerful stuff, they are small and intimate I like those meetings very much, lots of good recovery being shared.   I also like how make the time in my day to be of service and do this meeting.  Often times I am conflicted with doing things because it cuts into my "weekend" time, however there is not an more important hour in my entire weekend than the weekend I spend in that meeting and I am VERY grateful for it.  Without service, without communing with my fellow loopies/12steppers I would be lost.  Support is the most vital part of my program, along with my HP which is first and foremost, strong sponsorship.  If someone is struggling I cannot suggest more strongly to GET A SPONSOR!!!  Find someone who is tough but fair and will tell you the truth and will call someone on their BS, also someone who lives and works in the Big Book and 12steps is essential in my option. 

We are in a 12 step program, the Big Book is the foundation of the program and the steps help us ascend from the hell we are in, to the life our HP wants us to have and that we deserve.

Had a GREAT BB meeting as well, we covered the section more on alcoholism.  I have long since let go of my reservations about the big book.  Yes it called the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous but that no longer matters to me, the message contained within is life saving.  I interchange the words Alcoholic and alcohol with Compulsive Over Eater and Food almost seamlessly, to me it doesn't matter the substance its ALL a drug.   If someone doesn't have a big book I cannot suggest strongly enough again to get one.  There are plenty of free resources online for this type of stuff

say HERE for instance *chuckles*   http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

I wish I had done these things 4 years ago as soon as I got into program, but I needed to suffer and experiment more before I realized I am a COE, I will be for life and I am fine with that because I will always be a recovering COE, there is no graduation from this program and I am SO grateful for that.

As Phil often says I cannot eat like mortals, I am powerless over the food.  I am very grateful that I know this, i do sometimes forget so I must be vigilant in all  I do, i must be mindful of all my interaction with food from my meals, to my meal prep, to eating out, to everything i put in my mouth no matter if its XXXX or a glass of water I must be mindful.  That is the biggest challenge I face right now is being present, being in the moment.  Even now to this day its so very easy to slip into automatic mode while prepping or eating food.  So I work to bring my mind back to what i am doing at the moment.


Hmmmmmm even though i didn't have much to say today I guess my HP did


Plan of Action

Prayed (soon as my feet hit the floor baby)
Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan as written and report any changes
pray before and after my meals
be mindful of my meals, preparing my meals, shopping for my meals,
text Phil before and after my meals
Call Phil
Be of service by making recovery calls
Start reading the next chapter in the big book, listen to a cd on meditation
Remember and remind myself constantly that this is a program of action and no one is going to do the work for me, I must do it myself.  I can pray to my HP for the strength to get it done

love you till the end.report.2.16.14

Good Afternoon

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was not abstinent yesterday.

I had to admit to Phil this morning that I have been very sloppy lately, I had not been binging however I am not being “clean”.  I have not been properly measuring things despite saying that I would.  I have been indulging in soda and tricking myself into thinking its “ok” because it’s a beverage, but it has calories and sugar.  It felt good to be honest and also embarrassing that I was up to shenanigans and not being rigorously honest.  I also had to admit some other things with other substances that I don’t necessarily have a problem with yet I didn’t feel like I was living clean, I was able to be honest with Phil and he was able to share his own experience with me and offer suggestions.

Plan of Action:

Submit meal plan

Pray (done)

Stick to my meal plan as written and report any changes

Pray before and after meals

Text Phil before and after meals

Make recovery calls

Be of service by leading a meeting

Do big book study

paradise.cirty.report.2.15.14

Good Morning

my name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday

Not much to say today, not feeling 100% but I am up and about so I am grateful for that.  Yesterday was a decent enough day, was pretty worn out from running around the day before, we got a bunch of snow, I got stuck not once but twice yesterday *chuckles* the first time my buddy and his neighbor pushed me out, the 2nd time I had to fend for myself but I got it done.  Mom wasn’t feeling well and needed to go to the DR, I pushed myself a bit further than I should trying to get unstuck and dug out, finally we just called a taxi, which will amuse some of you city folks seeing as how we only have literally one taxi here ;) welcome to small town life.  I finally called our plow guy and he came and cleaned the yard out.  I was trying to hold off because every time he comes it’s about $20, we racked up about $60 the last few days.  I am REALLY grateful that he works with us and lets me pay as I can.  As bad as life is sometimes I have to stop and remember it’s not really that bad after all ;)

Plan of Action

Pray (yes I did)

Submit meal plan (done)

Stick to my meal plan as written report any changes

Call Phil (done)

pray before and after my meals

text Phil before and after my meals

be of service make recovery calls (done)

read literature (done)

do 1 thing towards a goal today (10 wall pushups)

my gratitude-words of encouragement.2.14.14

I am grateful for my HP
I am grateful to be abstinent
I am grateful for this day
I am grateful for program
I am grateful to not bomb my first time live on the air
I am grateful for all the people who plow us out during winter storms
I am grateful for Moms Company yesterday
I am grateful to have seen both my brothers yesterday
I am grateful for a safe trip

"We need to know ourselves... to understand others better."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Sushant P., Age 18 --- India

" Just because you want me to give up, doesn't mean I will."
Written in 2004 by Traci Connelly --- Pennsylvania

" Champions have the courage to face fear in the eye, stand up for what they believe in, and still go on. Setbacks and humiliation mean nothing to them."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Bird G. --- Ohio

Brought to you by:  www.motivateus.com

dont know what you got till its gone.report.2.14.14

Good morning

my name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE and I was abstinent yesterday

My appointment went well yesterday, I got done what I needed to get done.  It was a long day on the road, I was kind of disappointed because I had been looking forward to going to a few pawn shops to find some cds I could use for my radio show but the 2 in that town didn't really have anything, in the grand scheme of things it’s not the end of the world *Chuckles* but I had been looking forward to that a lot
We made it home before the storm hit, I feel a bit better this morning, things still aren’t 100% but it could be much worse I could be in the hospital so I am thankful I am well.

I appreciate all the thoughts and well wishes yesterday.

Plan of Action
Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan as written report ANY changes
Call Phil (done)
Pray
Pray before and after meals
Text Phil before and after meals
Make some recovery calls
Read literature and listen to positive materials

come on feel the noise.report.2.13.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday.
I had an ok day for the most part, I felt really sick late in the afternoon and tried to hold on as long as possible; finally I threw in the towel about 4:30 and went to bed.  I didn’t sleep really well, I was awake every hour or 2.  I still feel under the weather today, I am not sure what is wrong I just feel nauseous; hopefully I am not pregnant ;)

I am going out of town today to a medical appointment; we will be racing a massive winter storm home so that’s a little stressful, but I just have to get my business done and get home safely.

I had a wonderful conversation with the person who runs my favorite website
www.motivateus.com

Very smart and worldly, she gave me some good ideas about how to deal with life and people.  Once suggestion was to do one thing every day that helps go towards a goal, after a month I will have done 30 things towards its.  The other thing which was amusing to me is how she deals with people who might say some upsetting or rude things; she takes a step back and says hmmmm isn’t that interesting.  It made me laugh when I first heard it but she says it helps change perspective.  I’ll do it, every other time someone has suggested I do something that I didn’t think would do much it turned out to be life changing in many ways.

Plan of Action:

Prayed (done)
Submitted meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan and report any changes
Pray before and after my meals
Text Phil before and after my meals
Call Phil
Be of service and make recovery calls
Read literature and listen to positive things

shot through the heart.report.2.12.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday

Not much to report today yesterday was a quiet day.

Plan of action

Prayed (did it)

Submit meal plan (done)

Stick to meal plan as written and report any changes

Pray before and after meals

Text Phil before and after meals

Call Phil

Make 2 recovery calls

Read literature and listen to files