Faithfully.report.1.15.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE and I had a slip yesterday.
Day 3 of not sleeping great its developing into a habit *chuckles* I am be grumpy enough when I do sleep all night; not getting much sleep at all is really not working for me.  Yesterday was not a great day; my mom received some troubling medical news.

They did not state 100% it was breast cancer but they want a biopsy and seem to be fairly certain.  I was kind of numb most of the afternoon.  Despite how troubling it can be in the house sometimes and my short fuse with her I love my mom very much.  I kind of feel like she is my connection to our family and life really.

 A few years ago this type of news would have sent me off the deep end because she was one of the few reasons I was “still here” Now as a wise friend (thank you Phil) told me yesterday there is no sense in getting all upset just yet, to take it a step at a time as it were, but still it’s extremely upsetting to me.

 I find it highly, well I don’t know what word to use, normally I would say amusing but it’s anything but, however yesterday I was watching a documentary called Forks over Knives on Netflix, pretty good so far I have yet to finish it.  The message of the movie was that moving towards a more plant based lifestyle has been shown to lead in a decrease in cancer, and then 4 hours later we get the phone call.  I was told there are no coincidences in life (thank you Phil) it certainly seemed to be the case yesterday.

I did not feel like eating over it, I did however find myself with my hand in a bag of pretzels munching on those however I quickly put them down.  That aside I didn’t feel like eating much of anything last night but I forced supper down.  The last 24 hours have caused me to rethink my entire realm of food.  I won’t be making any broad or wide sweeping changes off the cuff, I will work with Phil to discuss and implement wise choices.  I did stock up on fruits and veggies yesterday; I must say Japanese pears despite being pricey are very delicious.   My thought to meals has always seemed to flow
Meat
bread
potato/starch
salad

I think it’s finally time meat and salad exchange places, making salad the centerpiece of meals and everything else supporting characters seems to appeal to me very much this morning.  My mind and whims change like the wind, however I am going to commit to making more healthy choices and putting myself more into my program.  I know I need to do this for myself and no one else, I am motivated by knowing I cannot help my mom and be there for her as she battles cancer if I am dying from being a COE

Plan of Action
Submit meal plan (done)
Pray (did it)
Stick to meal plan as written report any changes
Pray before and after meals
Text Phil before and after meals
Be of service
Take recovery actions

it will rain.report.1.13.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am grateful, recovering COE, i was abstinent yesterday.  I had a good day yesterday, we had out Sunday Skype meeting which i felt was very productive, Phil came and shares his story which I always find uplifting.  I had an interesting lesson taught to me over the weekend.  Phil is always telling me if its not my food DON'T TOUCH IT.  That was made painfully clear to me on Saturday.  we have sparkling flavored water in the house which i have in my meal plan, there was an open one on the shelf in the fridge, I grabbed it and took a drink off the bottle.  it was not the flavored water i was expecting, it was alcohol!
 I about choked on it and instantly felt sick to my stomach. I am 2 years sober in my other fellowship.  I realize this isn't AA but the lesson further reinforce for me DON'T TOUCH.  It was a rather painful way to learn.  I was very upset and angry at first at the person who left it unlabeled in the fridge.  Normally we would have nothing like that in the house, however we have a house guest we are helping out.   I know they drink and it doesn't tempt or bother me at all, I was very upset at the thought of 2 years going away because of this mistake.

  I got some proper council and it was explained my sobriety is intact because it was not an effort on my part to drink, nor did I know it.  I will have a talk with the person when I see them again to explain the situation a bit better and ask them not to leave stuff like that unlabeled in the house

Aside from that all is well, I have been thinking more about moving towards vegetarianism.  In recent weeks I have fallen back on eating meat, I am a carnivore and I find meat very enjoyable.  I need to re watch a few documentary that reminded me why I wanted to do that in the first place.  Then i need to make some smart sensible changes that are attainable and discuss with my food sponsor and go from there

Plan of Action for the day

pray (soon as i woke)
submit meal plan (done)
stick to meal plan as written report any changes
pray before and after my meals
text Phil before and after my meals
Call Phil to report in
Be of service by making at least 2 recovery calls/texts/emails  to find out how other people are doing.
Take recovery actions by exploring my study BB I got and watch a documentary called Vegetated or Food INC

in this river.1.12.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday.  I had a good day yesterday, was stuck in the house all day we had bad ice storms, aside from that all is well.

Not much to report today.  Have the skype meeting today at 2pm and excited about the speaker at the meeting.  I got my BB study edition in the mail yesterday kind of excited about that.  Its not what I thought it would be, I have to dig through it further, the description made it sound fantastic, such is having expectations of things ;)

Plan of Action:

pray: done
submit meal plan: done
pray before and after my meals
text phil before and after my meals
call phil to report in (done)
be of service today by chairing the skype meeting
take recovery actions by making some calls and reading/listening to some literature

love you till the end.report.1.11.14

**Warning** the following contains topics that kind of stray outside of food related issues, I apologize if it upsets anyone, these are the words that came out when I sat down today **Warning**

Good morning

My name is Greg and I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday.

Had a decent day yesterday, still didn’t feel 100% but got through the day.  I helped with a meeting for another fellowship at a correctional facility last night.  Those meetings are always so powerful for me, Often times I sit in meetings and listen to people talk about the consequences of their (insert substance) in those meetings I SEE the consequences and its heart breaking.  The meeting went ok, I felt like the guy who was chairing it broke the cross talk rules he set forth in the beginning.  He kept interrupting people to tell them what they needed to do.  He has more sobriety than me so I let him do his thing, but I felt like the msg got muddled in the process.  I shared my ESH with the guys, my heart hurt for each and every one of them.  They talked about doing 5 years in prison (or more) and then talked about what they would do when they go out.  Most of them have no clue what to do and talked about falling right back into  their old life.  The guy chairing had some good points about it being a choice, our lives are what we make it.  I just didn’t like how he was trying to beat it into the and tell them what to do.  One guy talked about as soon as he gets $1000 for bail he is getting out and then he is running F the $1000.  He was very intelligent, not a stupid man at all, I listened to him talk about how alcohol got him in there, and the first thing he was going to do when released is get a beer.  I am grateful for those meetings because they show me WHAT IF, or WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN.  I should have gone to prison multiple times over for stealing, dealing drugs and things like that.  I have no idea how they ended up in there and I didn’t.  Perhaps there is something I am supposed to do, I have no idea I just know I am grateful for the chance I have been given.  Those meetings are a stone cold reminder of what making bad choices in my life can lead too.  I no longer have to worry about going to jail for things like stealing or drugs.  It’s like a certain restaurant that serves a trigger food of mine that I LOVEEEEE.  Because I do not go in there, I don’t eat that trigger food.  Because I do not commit any sort of crimes I have no worry about jail.  Granted this stuff is a little bit off the beaten path of OA, but all of this is part of my story.  All of this is part of who I am and what I have done, the selfish, self-centered, angry, volatile , manipulative, untrustworthy person I was, was because of my addictions and food being the most prevalent.  For me COE can very easily be Compulsive Over Drinker, Compulsive Over Drugger,  Compulive Over Sexer, ok so I may have made up a few words but I am sure the point gets across.  I am compulsive and an addict in every aspect of life.  If it feels good, numbs me out, and makes it so I do not have to deal with reality anymore BRING IT ON!!!!.  Food was the most acceptable, legal, most trouble free way for me to exercise my demons for a minute.

Anyways lots going on within me this morning, I apologize again for mixing in things that are not specific to OA, it’s who I am and part of my story, I wish to offend no one but it’s important for my recovery to talk about these things

Plan of Action for Today

Pray (as soon as my feet hit the floor

Submit meal plan (done)

Stick to meal plan as written and report any changes

Pray before and after meals

Text Phil before and after meals

Call Phil to report in daily

Be of service today by making recovery calls

Take recovery actions by reading some material and listening to an audio file

Pompeii.report.1.10.14

Good morning

my name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE and I was abstinent yesterday.

Not much to report it was business as usual yesterday.  Still feeling a bit under the weather but not bad.  I took a recovery call but I did not make my
 recovery calls or do my readings.  I realize I need to do both these things to keep my recovery strong.

I have not been feeling hungry as of late.  I struggled to finish my breakfast the last few days, and lunch as well.
I don't feel THAT poorly anymore so I am not sure what the heck is going on.  Of course being paranoid I think I am dying of something *chuckles*  if it keeps up for much longer I will go to the DR.  At this point there isn't much to report so I don't see the point of going in just yet, as I know how it will play out.  They will tell me I have a bit of the flu bug and send me home, then I will go back in later with worse symptoms and they will try and treat me *Chuckles* such is medical care in sleepy small towns.

Action Plan for the day

Prayed (did it as soon as my feet hit the floor)
submited meal plan (done)
pray before and after meals
text phil before and after meals
call phil to report in daily
Be of service by chairing a meeting at the jail tonight
make recovery calls to at least 2 other program people

Anything is possible IF we work for it and take action!!

Man loses 392 pounds
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/man-loses-392-pounds-seeing-obese-reflection-tv-131629687.html

Woman films herself for 100 days
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/woman-films-herself-100-days-workouts-210555063--abc-news-health.html?vp=1

time after time.report.1.9.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful, recovering COE and I was abstinent yesterday.
I had a decent day yesterday, didn’t feel well so I actually under ate.  I woke up from a nap with a splitting headache and an upset stomach feeling like I was going to pass out.   I felt better later on and I did not “make up” for not eating earlier.
I made a couple of program calls and I was of service by taking a fellow program person to the store.  I did a little reading yesterday as well.
Still don’t feel 100% this morning but I am alright I will get by and not COE because of it

Action plan for the day

Prayed (I did as soon as my feet hit the floor)
Submitted meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan and report changes
Call Phil for daily check in (done)
Pray before and after my meals
Text Phil before and after my meals
Make 2 program calls
Do some readings and listen to a speaker file