Good morning
My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE and I had a slip yesterday.
Day 3 of not sleeping great its developing into a habit *chuckles* I am be grumpy enough when I do sleep all night; not getting much sleep at all is really not working for me. Yesterday was not a great day; my mom received some troubling medical news.
They did not state 100% it was breast cancer but they want a biopsy and seem to be fairly certain. I was kind of numb most of the afternoon. Despite how troubling it can be in the house sometimes and my short fuse with her I love my mom very much. I kind of feel like she is my connection to our family and life really.
A few years ago this type of news would have sent me off the deep end because she was one of the few reasons I was “still here” Now as a wise friend (thank you Phil) told me yesterday there is no sense in getting all upset just yet, to take it a step at a time as it were, but still it’s extremely upsetting to me.
I find it highly, well I don’t know what word to use, normally I would say amusing but it’s anything but, however yesterday I was watching a documentary called Forks over Knives on Netflix, pretty good so far I have yet to finish it. The message of the movie was that moving towards a more plant based lifestyle has been shown to lead in a decrease in cancer, and then 4 hours later we get the phone call. I was told there are no coincidences in life (thank you Phil) it certainly seemed to be the case yesterday.
I did not feel like eating over it, I did however find myself with my hand in a bag of pretzels munching on those however I quickly put them down. That aside I didn’t feel like eating much of anything last night but I forced supper down. The last 24 hours have caused me to rethink my entire realm of food. I won’t be making any broad or wide sweeping changes off the cuff, I will work with Phil to discuss and implement wise choices. I did stock up on fruits and veggies yesterday; I must say Japanese pears despite being pricey are very delicious. My thought to meals has always seemed to flow
Meat
bread
potato/starch
salad
I think it’s finally time meat and salad exchange places, making salad the centerpiece of meals and everything else supporting characters seems to appeal to me very much this morning. My mind and whims change like the wind, however I am going to commit to making more healthy choices and putting myself more into my program. I know I need to do this for myself and no one else, I am motivated by knowing I cannot help my mom and be there for her as she battles cancer if I am dying from being a COE
Plan of Action
Submit meal plan (done)
Pray (did it)
Stick to meal plan as written report any changes
Pray before and after meals
Text Phil before and after meals
Be of service
Take recovery actions
About Me
- Greg
- Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.
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