My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering COE, I was abstinent yesterday
It seems like it’s been a while since I have been able to start one of these off with some upbeat and positive news. My initial reaction is to just keep quiet and deal with it on my own, but that’s part of how I got up to 550 pounds.
We had to put down one of our cats yesterday. Archie was a unique and cute little fellow in his own right, Archie was a wild cat my mom tamed and brought into the home. He came to her sick, with a broke tail, fearful of humans and in need of help. She took him to the vet and got him all fixed up. Often times he was like a bull in a china shop, being chubby and clumsy things would usually go flying as he ran across the counter, or whatever other surface he jumped up onto
In recent months he became sick and had chronic diarrhea, I know that’s gross, BELIEVE me I know that’s grow; we found it all over the house, some of his favorite places to sit were the counter, table, stove (yep)
He was such a loving cat, he only wanted to be with people and sit on you, as you can imagine when a cat has a problem with things leaking out of him at any given time, one might not be that excited to have him on them.
At times I chased him away, other times I showed compassion and found a blanket or town to put on me so he could lay on me and get some pets and contact, well at least until the inevitable happened then I lovingly shooed him down.
Things had gotten drastically worse the last few weeks, and very bad on WED. We had him on medication for months now, sometimes it was successful; most of the time not.
I struggled to find a way to help the poor little fellow, but the vet finally told mom yesterday there was nothing more that could be done She made a choice to take him down to the vet while I was napping and have him put to sleep. Just further reminders that life doesn’t slow down, or cut us breaks regardless of what is going on, it’s still going to happen whether we want it to or not.
Despite being sad it helps remind me to be mindful and grateful for the people and animals I have in my life, you never know when they will be gone. Archie was just alive yesterday morning, the last image I have of him was looking up at me from the porch wanting to come back in the house; but we had to keep him outside because he was having too many accidents. I prayed for a sign to know what the best thing to do for him was. Aside from his issue he didn’t seem to be suffering or sick. He was so loving, I didn’t want to cut his life short , I just kept thinking that he was looking up at me saying “help me” or let me in…either or. Thankfully my mom made the choice and took him to the vet, initially it was put on me to take him down and I really didn’t want to do it. I got woken up soon after she left and tried to reach her by phone so I could take him down, he was her cat and I know it would be hard on her; but she got it done.
In my email this morning I saw this
We are sad to report that Rozanne S., the CoFounder of Overeaters Anonymous, died peacefully last night, January 15th. She was a gutsy and courageous lady and our hearts are full of gratitude for her many years of service to compulsive eaters everywhere.
I'm sure we speak for all of you in expressing our deepest sympathy to Rozanne's family and close friends.
It will be more significant for my fellow OA members, but still I am filled with sadness and gratitude for this woman I have never met, yet gave us a program that is saving our lives.
I have to be honest, for all my positive quotes, the upbeat talk that I use, and the positive actions I try to take, I feel like a fraud because in reality I just want to pull the covers up over my head and not deal with life. Although that IS an option, it’s not really an option. The only bright sliver I have to hold onto this morning is I am not eating over my feelings; still I don’t want to deal with it. Yet here I am, I came back, that has to count for something even thought it doesn’t feel like it this morning.
Plan of action
Pray (as soon as my feet hit the floor)
Submitted meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan as written report any changes
Pray before and after my meals
Text phil before and after my meals
Call Phil to report in (done)
Be of service my making at least 2 recovery calls
Take recovery actions by reading more in my 10 minute zen book and listen to some files on meditation
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