we belong.report.1.20.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am grateful recovering COE I was abstinent yesterday.

Not much to report today pretty quiet yesterday and today.  I did have a great BB meeting with Phil yesterday; I learned a lot and had some light bulbs go off above my head, especially concerning service and helping others.

I have long believed that people even negative or difficult people have something to teach us even if its only not to act like they do.  We used to have a person that came to a 12 step meeting that people just did not like.  He was mmmm unique is a good word, not a bad fella but he rubbed everyone the wrong way and he was treated poorly in meetings by just about everyone.  That stopped me from going for a while because it seemed to violate traditions one, three, and five, at least in my mind.  The one thing about the rooms I love most is we are ALL equal, no one is any better or worse than anyone else, yet that is not always the case.  It’s hard to remember that people are people when I am in the rooms because I cling so tightly to the foundation of all are welcome.  I didn't have the courage to speak up and say something, fortunately a young new 18 year old member called the group out on their crap.

The guy I am talking about thanked me a few times because I treated him just like everyone else, I enjoyed his shares even if they were wacky sometimes *chuckles* he had just as much right to be there as any of us, that being said I have had some people in meetings I just did not care for personally, but I try to remember the lesson that everyone has a lesson for us.  I took the long way to get to the point that in my dealing with people I have become frustrated at certain things and discussing them yesterday during the BB meeting helped me to remember that we are all welcome, we all have something to contribute, and even if the other person isn't "getting it" that its helping me remind what my life was like before I "got it" and where my life can go back to if I don't work this program.  Phil always used to thank me for calling him; I never understood that in the beginning.  I would call and often cry literally about the mistakes I made, or how awful I was feeling.  When I hung up I almost always felt better because he had the message I needed to hear, he would thank ME for helping HIM.  That used to baffle the hell out of me, I called him for help and to complain how as that helping? But now I understand, now I know what a symbiotic relationship this program is, how even when calling him for help or to "take" I am giving him something.  I need to remind myself of this lesson everyday so I don't fall into resentments; I need to be thankful for the opportunities I get to be of service to others.
The Service theme continued yesterday during the skype meeting.  There were only a few of us present but I felt like it was a strong and powerful meeting.

When there are just a few people at a meeting sometimes we choose what to do, yesterday we made the choice to grab Voices of Recovery and pick a topic and do readings, and service was the topic.  We took turns reading and discussing, some great stuff came out of it.  I really enjoy the free flowing meetings as much as I do the regular meetings.  I am very grateful to those people who showed up because they helped me stay abstinent yesterday by allowing me to be of service

Plan of Action

Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to meal plan as written report any changes
Pray before and after my meals
Text Phil before and after my meals
Call Phil with my daily call (done)
Be of service by making 2 calls
Take recovery actions by doing readings, reading my 10 minute zen book, listen to a speaker file/meditation file