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Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

kickstart my heart.report.1.16.14



Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful, recovering COE I was abstinent yesterday.
Long day, didn’t sleep well the night before but I did what I had to do.  Was on the road most of the day traveling that went relatively well.  For yesterday I managed to remain calm and patient with my mom as we were on our trip.  Normally I am on edge and grumpy especially when over tired, but I was kind and compassionate.  The new she received a few days ago helped drive home the importance of living one day at a time and being mindful and present.   

I am readying a great little book called 10 minute zen.  It was sat on my shelf for years; it became a bathroom book, I read a few pages here and there.  I actually started to get a little deeper into the book and have been reading it more.  I am very fascinated and interested in the concept of Zen.  The things the book lays out are great things to incorporate into my life; I also see a lot of similarities and shades of program in it.

I am finally starting to understand what my sponsors went through dealing with me, and the importance of following direction even if I don’t understand or see the value in it.  It’s kind of amazing to me how clear these things are now and how baffled I was by them before this clarity

Plan of action for the day
Pray (did it soon as my feet hit the floor)
Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to my meal plan as written and report changes to Phil
Pray before and after my meals
Text Phil before and after my meals
Do daily call to Phil
Reach out to others to find out how they are doing
Continue to read my 10 minute Zen book

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