**Warning** the following contains topics that kind
of stray outside of food related issues, I apologize if it upsets anyone, these
are the words that came out when I sat down today **Warning**
Good morning
My name is Greg and I am a grateful recovering COE, I was
abstinent yesterday.
Had a decent day yesterday, still didn’t feel 100% but got
through the day. I helped with a meeting
for another fellowship at a correctional facility last night. Those meetings are always so powerful for me,
Often times I sit in meetings and listen to people talk about the consequences
of their (insert substance) in those meetings I SEE the consequences and its
heart breaking. The meeting went ok, I
felt like the guy who was chairing it broke the cross talk rules he set forth
in the beginning. He kept interrupting people
to tell them what they needed to do. He
has more sobriety than me so I let him do his thing, but I felt like the msg
got muddled in the process. I shared my
ESH with the guys, my heart hurt for each and every one of them. They talked about doing 5 years in prison (or
more) and then talked about what they would do when they go out. Most of them have no clue what to do and
talked about falling right back into
their old life. The guy chairing
had some good points about it being a choice, our lives are what we make
it. I just didn’t like how he was trying
to beat it into the and tell them what to do.
One guy talked about as soon as he gets $1000 for bail he is getting out
and then he is running F the $1000. He
was very intelligent, not a stupid man at all, I listened to him talk about how
alcohol got him in there, and the first thing he was going to do when released
is get a beer. I am grateful for those
meetings because they show me WHAT IF, or WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN. I should have gone to prison multiple times
over for stealing, dealing drugs and things like that. I have no idea how they ended up in there and
I didn’t. Perhaps there is something I
am supposed to do, I have no idea I just know I am grateful for the chance I
have been given. Those meetings are a
stone cold reminder of what making bad choices in my life can lead too. I no longer have to worry about going to jail
for things like stealing or drugs. It’s
like a certain restaurant that serves a trigger food of mine that I
LOVEEEEE. Because I do not go in there,
I don’t eat that trigger food. Because I
do not commit any sort of crimes I have no worry about jail. Granted this stuff is a little bit off the
beaten path of OA, but all of this is part of my story. All of this is part of who I am and what I
have done, the selfish, self-centered, angry, volatile , manipulative,
untrustworthy person I was, was because of my addictions and food being the
most prevalent. For me COE can very
easily be Compulsive Over Drinker, Compulsive Over Drugger, Compulive Over Sexer, ok so I may have made
up a few words but I am sure the point gets across. I am compulsive and an addict in every aspect
of life. If it feels good, numbs me out,
and makes it so I do not have to deal with reality anymore BRING IT
ON!!!!. Food was the most acceptable, legal,
most trouble free way for me to exercise my demons for a minute.
Anyways lots going on within me this morning, I apologize
again for mixing in things that are not specific to OA, it’s who I am and part
of my story, I wish to offend no one but it’s important for my recovery to talk
about these things
Plan of Action for Today
Pray (as soon as my feet hit the floor
Submit meal plan (done)
Stick to meal plan as written and report any changes
Pray before and after meals
Text Phil before and after meals
Call Phil to report in daily
Be of service today by making recovery calls
Take recovery actions by reading some material and listening
to an audio file
No comments:
Post a Comment