About Me

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Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

something to remind you.report.11.13.14

Good morning

My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering Compulsive Over Eater, I was abstinent yesterday

I was able to unload some darkness I had been hiding deep inside of me for most of my life this morning, it feels cleansing to get those secrets out in the open and not have the person judge me or walk away from me..

I believe that I have not attained long term, lasting sobriety because I don't deserve it. I still harbor guilt and shame from things that were done to me and that I did to others through my life. My actions that impacted and scarred another person seem unforgivable to me. I believe this is the reason I have not fully surrendered and let my HP take my transgressions from me, I don't feel like I deserve to have a happy, sane, useful life because others touched by my BS still suffer. People can tell me all day that I am not responsible for the things that happen in their lives, but when the things I have done may have touched off the path they are on, I don't know how to find lasting forgiveness no matter how much I pray, no matter how much I beg and plead, I am still stuck in the darkness, still punishing myself.

For this very minute I have a little peace and serenity as I write this, the fear is just below the surface that it will not last but I am doing my best to ignore that. I will do my best to stick close to program today and work my action plan

Plan of Action

Pray
snack
self-care
work
mini-meeting
breakfast
9:45 meeting
be of service
snack
make 2 out reach calls
lunch
make 2 out reach texts
snack
work on my VO homework
Read my BB
supper
self-care
pray

bed

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