Good morning
My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering Compulsive Over Eater. I was sloppy today and not abstinent. I actually feel pretty good about that today. Not that I am happy I was not abstinent, but because I learned something and with reaffirmation from my sponsors I know it to be true.
I cannot be trusted when it comes to dishing out food. If its a bowl of broccoli yes I can be trusted because I don't like it *chuckles* but when it comes to something I like I will add more 9 times out of 10.
My meal for yesterday called for 1 cup of what I was eating. I put the cup in a small bowl, and then proceeded to freak out because of how "small" the serving looked. That bowl along with my other meal components were MORE than enough for me, yet I was filled with this irrational fear that it wasn’t enough, next thing you know i am SHOVELING more out of the pot into my mouth as fast as I can. I knew at the time I was engaging in compulsive behaviors, I even stopped to acknowledge that, then I kept right on shoveling.
That lesson was solidified this morning when I stopped at the store to get my daily morning energy drink. I only need .75 cents if I am going to get that, so taking my whole wallet or more money than .75 is unnecessary. If I only take a few precautionary actions my days would go so much smoother. I told my sponsor this morning I feel like a child not being able to serve myself at meals, or having someone else serve out what I am eating. 99% of the time if my meals are proportioned and ready to eat I grab what I need and go about my business. The simple act of portioning out myself puts me into another frame of mind. My sponsor explained that portioning is not childish its mature. Thats my ego driven self-will rearing its head. Today I will work on meal planning and portioning things out to avoid compulsive moments
Plan of Action
Pray
Submit Meal Plan
Call Phil
Read Daily Readers
Pray before/after meals
Text Phil before/after meals
Make 2 outreach calls
Make 2 outreach texts
Read 2 pages in 12/12
Read 2 pages in BB
Read 2 pages in VO Book
Practice 2 scripts from homework
Listen to 2 VO Artists and write why they are good
Do VO exercies
About Me
- Greg
- Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.
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