Back in the High Life again.8.10.13

**This is the email I sent my sponsor today**

Good morning
I hope this finds you well. I am actually doing well this morning. I have come out the other side of my dark cloud, today is really a good day to be alive.

I started my day off right with meditation and prayers that I got from you and from the big book. I then listened to a speaker file. I had actually started to listen to one file but another one started playing, I decided to go with it and listened. It ended up being just what I needed to hear.

The speaker talked about the concept of a Higher Power and how they had once heard someone say that whatever the force was behind the wind blowing, whatever makes the food grow out of the ground, that makes the sun shine, THAT is their higher power. It made sense to me at the moment but didn’t really hit home until ½ hour later.

I finished the file and decided to call the person because I kind of know them and say thank you. I could not reach them so I decided to call Phil to say hello. He was engaged and said he would call me right back. So I sat there in my chair and looked out the window. The sun was shining; the wind was blowing a cool breeze into my room. I read a post from a person on a website I often frequent that has to do with health called sparkpeople.com, it really touched me. All of a sudden a bunch of small “coincidences” that happened over the last few days all fused together into a clear picture.

A co-worker called me yesterday to check in and see how I was doing; she hadn’t seen me all week. My hours are very early before anyone else comes in; her call made my day and made me feel a bit better. Then the speaker file this morning, the note from the other person on the web site and just watching the breeze blowing outside I had a bit of a spiritual awakening. I realize there IS a Higher Power in my life; I choose to call that power God because I don’t know what else to call it. I am not a religious person, I don’t attend church, I don’t believe in anyone’s particular “version” of God, I just focus on my own personal relationship with a power greater than myself.

I don’t judge or even care about anyone else’s relationship with their Higher Power. That is a personal choice for all of us to make; it’s not more my business what they believe than what I believe. I very much dislike other people trying to push their views on me. I respect their choice to believe it but stop cramming it down my throat ;) I am not directing this at anyone I enjoy hearing other people’s views on their beliefs and faith. It’s when we get into the whole “I’m right and your wrong and you’re going to hell because of it” that I tend to get disinterested.

2 days ago I wasn’t quite sure I was going to make it; the mental/physical pain was so great. But I didn’t give up, I did give into my disease and binge and eat foods that are not healthy to me. But I did not wander off, I got up the next day and (begrudgingly) did my meal plan, wrote my emails, did my daily words of encouragement and the other things I do. Sometimes I really have to grit my teeth and force myself to do these things but I have gotten better at accomplishing them more times than not.

I feel a bit tired and I feel some pain coming on, but all is well right now. I am happy and VERY grateful to have woken up this morning, and even more grateful for all the people in my life who believe in me, support me, and don’t give up on me even when I give up on myself. I cannot find the words to thank them, so a simple Thank you will have to do.

Goals for today
Pray
Submit my meal plan and listen to my food sponsors suggestions for my plan (submitted it)
Pray before my meals and give thanks after
Text my food sponsor before and after my meals
Work to be of service to my mom and others
Pray
Do something for my recovery every hour of my day; I will use the alarm on my phone to remind me to do this
Pray