**FOOD MENTIONED**
Good morning
I was not abstinent yesterday, I did well up until last night when I had a powerful craving for an ice cream bar, I gave into that craving and purchased it. I felt badly afterwards, as I was eating it I thought that it was not helping me accomplish my goals. I need to lose the weight to be healthy but also accomplish my career goals. I have a chance to be part of a tv show that is being developed, that is kind of exciting. I do have anxiety about being on camera; I do not like seeing myself in pictures and especially not on camera. I am not sure if this will get off the ground or not. Its being developed by a comedian friend of mine. He asked me to be part of helping him develop it and be in it.
I hope this finds you well. My weekend was ok. I have been having a lot of pain lately. I am still not sleeping that great, I toss and turn all night. Sometimes I lay there and just kind of shake, not sure why. Some of it has to do with the nerve damage in my leg with unfortunately I will always have.
I know I am carrying around a lot of weight however I do use my machine all the time, I never sleep without it. I don't ever wake up feeling refreshed even for a few minutes which is very frustrating for me. I figure I should at least rest and feel refreshed even if it doesn't last long. The Dr's and people who take care of my machine have no answers. It’s basically as good as it’s going to get. I don't accept that but I am unsure what the issue is. I believe something else is amiss I am just not sure what it is. I know losing weight will dramatically help with a lot of my issues, in the mean time I search for answers to help me to accomplish this. If I cannot sleep it’s very difficult for me to get up the next day and do what I need to do in order to be successful.
I was not very successful yesterday in texting my food sponsor before and after my meals. I am not certain why. Yesterday was kind of whirl wind. We had a Dog Whisperer come in and help mom with her dog. I kind of scoffed when she first brought it up and asked me to help her pay for it. I was about 15 minutes into it when I realized this was the best $$$ we had ever spent. I was very impressed with his skills with the dog. if you have ever watched Cesar Milan on TV its right along those lines.
Goals for the day
Pray submit meal plan (done)
Text my food sponsor before and after my meals (I will work on being mindful of this today and avoid the mistakes of yesterday)
Pray
I will pray before my meals to help me have an abstinent meal, I will give thanks after.
I will be of service where I can, I will go home and scoop the cat box and feed the cats breakfast that will help out at home. I will also help out wherever I can the rest of the day
I will do something for my recovery every hour
Pray
About Me
- Greg
- Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.
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