She's so mean.report.8.2.13

This was a 2-part email I sent this morning.  I honestly had no intention of writing part 2 but I felt a hair bit better so I sat down to write again.   I was not real pleased when I sat down to write initially.  I don't share this stuff to complain, I share it to show the journey i am on and what happens along the way.

Good morning

yesterday sucked, car broke down, I don't feel like we needed to be in the situation to begin with so I was royally p*ssed all day yesterday..that's all I am going to discuss on the issue.  Seems like most days these days haven't been the best and all I do is complain.  Despite what happened I didn't overeat.  I have nothing else to say today.  Ill work on emails and what not tomorrow.  I need to reread all your emails, I don't think I had all of them when I sent you the text, if I am still upset after I read everything I will do the resentment and send it to phil


I’ll send a meal plan
ill pray and text before and after meals
try to work on my recovery



Well I am back again.  I don’t feel quite as grumpy and nasty as I did an hour ago.  Despite having car issues and it raining that day isn’t that bad.  I don’t know how I didn’t over eat last night, I didn’t pray or reach out for help and I was resentful from about noon time till 8 pm last night.  I am thankful that I got through the day though, in the end it all worked out ok.  I was p*ssed because the car was having issues before we left town and I really didn’t want to drive an hour away, someone else disagreed, it’s their car and their appointment so away we went.   We made it to where we were going and on the way home the car died in the middle of the road.  I limped it to the side, thankfully my brothers lived within 20 minutes and my passenger had AAA.  So we got home.  The car is being put into the garage this morning, I have no idea how I am going to pay for it.  The guy at the garage is really good to me and treats me well so I think he will work with me, just more money I don’t really have to spend.  In the end it all worked out well but I was super p*ssed last night.  I ended up walking to work this morning, which I ½ regret and ½ don’t.  My body is in pain from head to toe which is the regret part, but mentally I am kind of proud of myself, it’s only a mile but when you are carrying around a bunch of weight and have pain it can seem like a lot farther.   But I made it, I could not have made it back but I made it to work *chuckles*

I just feel like I cannot catch a break.  One thing gets under control and something else breaks or goes wrong, if I am lucky that gets resolved before something else goes amiss.  Lately the hits just seem to keep on coming.  It’s pretty depressing on top of all the other things that go on.  I realize that’s life but is it too much to ask for to have things go along at an even keel for a little amount of time? Apparently so.   But it is what it is I guess.  At least now I feel like doing my words of encouragement and gratitude, although it will be a teeth gritting gratitude this morning because I don’t feel that grateful, but I am sure I can come up with something.