About Me

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Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Living on a Prayer.report.8.15.13



Good morning

I hope this finds you well today.  It’s one of those days already *chuckles* I feel like crap, but I got up and went to work. Sleep still eludes me and it throws off my morning routine, which in turn seems to throw off the rest of my day.  When I am able to rise early enough I can meditate and pray and that seems to help put my day on a positive track.  When I do not sleep well or am not able to get to sleep till later at night and I only get 4-5 hours or less I sleep right up until post time, which means I get up 5 minutes before I walk out the door for work, I can pray in the car and do some breathing in the car, however it doesn't seem to have the same effect of kick starting my day with the proper way.  I am foolishly pinning all my hopes on my DR's solution to put me on the sleep medication that will hopefully allow me to get the proper amount of sleep and get up at a decent hour so I can do what I need to do before work.  I would like to rise about 2 or 3 am.  That would give me time to do what I have to do before leaving for work about 4, which would in turn give me sufficient time to get my news prepared and laid down and I wouldn’t feel rushed.
But I am up and at it, so it is what it is
Goals
pray
submit meal plan
stick to plan
pray before/after meals
text phil/before after meals
be of service
work on my recovery as much as possible

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