Good morning I hope your weekend is going well. Mine is not too bad. Still feeling under the weather but putting
one foot in front of the other. I have
19 days of abstinence out of the last 21 days, with the more recent back to
back of 2
There are a lot of stressful things going on around the
house, dealing with the relatively well, not dealing with them with food so
thankful for that. The guy at work who
bugs me has been on my mind a lot lately.
The desire to know WHY he bugs me so much is becoming obsessive. I used to be like that, saying whatever I
wanted whenever I wanted, I am no longer that person and have not been for
quite some time.
So why he gets under
my skin so badly I have no idea. It’s
said what we don't like in others is a reflection in ourselves. I have been looking hard for that reflection
and I cannot see it thus far. In reality
nothing he does impacts my life. He can
bad talk me all he wants (which really bothers me) but he isn't my boss, I can
do my job however I want to do it regardless of what he says. He is constantly offering his
"advice" on how I should do my job, I REALLY want to tell him where
he can shove his advice. It’s not bad
advice most of the time either but it still just irks the crap out of me when
he even opens his mouth in my general direction. I really want nothing to do with him or
anything he has to say. I realize this
isn't a good way to feel and I work on it every day but I just want nothing to
do with him what so ever.
I do have to admit deep down I am just waiting for him to
say the right thing so I can tell him how I really feel and tell him off. Not that it will do anything, it’s not going
to change him and despite it making me feel better for a short time I don't
think it will generally change the landscape a bit. I am going to work on
asking for the strength to be tolerant of him, as long as I am at the radio
station I will probably have to deal with him.
I guess maybe that can be a motivating factor to work harder on my
program. Working my program will lead to weight loss, weight loss will
(hopefully) lead to me feeling better; feeling better will lead to me being
able to return to work more than I am.
If I work hard at my craft then I could potentially get a job at another
station, or perhaps get some national advertising spots, or who knows. I just know the weight has to come off in
order for me to really get ahead. I can
take steps and move forward as best I can, but until I really feel better and
have the stamina, patience and drive to do more I am kind of stuck where I am
at.
Goals for the day
pray & mediate (done)
submit meal plan (done)
pray before and after my meals
text my food sponsor before and after my meals
be of service where I can
take recovery actions through my day
pray and meditate before bed
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