About Me

My photo
Its day 1 of 2013. Will this be any different than yesterday? That depends on the actions I take today. I struggle with many health problems, I teeter on the edge of self-destruction, can I pull myself back? My life is broken, and I need to find the strength and courage to fix it. My physical, spiritual, and mental states are in shambles from years of addiction and self abuse. Food is my main drug of choice and it is killing me. My body is slowly breaking down due to the food abuse. If I have any hope of seeing tomorrow I need to start taking actions now. I welcome you to follow me on this journey as I struggle to find my way, to silence the demons within me, and find peace and serenity in my life. I can do this IF I am willing to put the work into it. I will share my trials and tribulations, success's and failures. Perhaps I can find a way to save my own life, and if it can help someone else with the same struggles, it would make it all the better This will be a chronicle of my journey to better health, better life, and happiness.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Walking in Memphis.report.9.20.13



Good morning 

I hope this finds you well this morning.  Yesterday was a decent enough day for me, day 11 of being abstinent.  I had the chance to go into a "health food" store yesterday out of town.  I use the " " because it didn't seem very healthy to me.  It has so many "healthy" sweets that it was ridiculous. Sugar free, or gluten free, everything but sweet free *chuckles* I was looking for vegetarian options but most of the stuff I saw was things I could get in any grocery store.  They had a nice selection of fresh spices but that really wasn't what I was there for.

I had a little incident yesterday where I lost my temper.  Mom needed paperwork from the social security office to submit with some other paper work she has for house hold stuff.  Since I live there I had to get the same paper work, I thought I could just call and get the paper work later on.  I sat in the car for about 1/2 hour while she was in there only to have her come out and tell me I needed to go in and wait in line.  I was not pleased to say the least; I did it but begrudgingly so.

I learned a little something yesterday, I was aggravated at someone who called me for help but really didn’t think what I had to say was a viable option for them.  It’s amusing because that’s how I act a lot of the time, I now know how my sponsors feel *chuckles* I could only share with this person what I have gone through and what has been taught to me.   If they don’t want to listen or are unable to do it there isn’t much I can do, I feel badly that they are struggling because I know all too well how that is.  I also understand how my sponsors feel now.  To see someone struggling and knowing if they follow some simple (but not easy) instructions they can be freed from the trap they are in.  I have come a long ways from where I was, but I still have a ways to go, I also need to pray for the strength to surrender and follow the simple directions of my sponsor.   If I could but do this in as little as a year’s time I could be 150-200 pounds lighter and be that much closer to a life free from this terrible disease, so what the hell is wrong with me?  Each day that goes by “my way” seems less and less of a viable option and actually starts to look like the insanity it actually is.
The rest of the day was good.  I have been watching Undercover boss on Netflix, it’s nice to watch a nice positive show, plus the damn thing always makes me cry *chuckles* yet I keep watching it.

Goals for the day
Pray & Meditate
Submit meal plan (done)
Pray before and after my meals
Text my food sponsor before and after meals
Pray
Be of service where I can
Take recovery actions through my day
Pray and meditate before bed

No comments:

Post a Comment