Good morning
I hope this finds you well this morning. Yesterday was a decent enough day for me, day
11 of being abstinent. I had the chance
to go into a "health food" store yesterday out of town. I use the " " because it didn't
seem very healthy to me. It has so many
"healthy" sweets that it was ridiculous. Sugar free, or gluten free,
everything but sweet free *chuckles* I was looking for vegetarian options but
most of the stuff I saw was things I could get in any grocery store. They had a nice selection of fresh spices but
that really wasn't what I was there for.
I had a little incident yesterday where I lost my
temper. Mom needed paperwork from the
social security office to submit with some other paper work she has for house
hold stuff. Since I live there I had to
get the same paper work, I thought I could just call and get the paper work
later on. I sat in the car for about 1/2
hour while she was in there only to have her come out and tell me I needed to
go in and wait in line. I was not
pleased to say the least; I did it but begrudgingly so.
I learned a little something yesterday, I was aggravated at
someone who called me for help but really didn’t think what I had to say was a
viable option for them. It’s amusing
because that’s how I act a lot of the time, I now know how my sponsors feel
*chuckles* I could only share with this person what I have gone through and
what has been taught to me. If they don’t
want to listen or are unable to do it there isn’t much I can do, I feel badly
that they are struggling because I know all too well how that is. I also understand how my sponsors feel
now. To see someone struggling and
knowing if they follow some simple (but not easy) instructions they can be
freed from the trap they are in. I have
come a long ways from where I was, but I still have a ways to go, I also need
to pray for the strength to surrender and follow the simple directions of my
sponsor. If I could but do this in as
little as a year’s time I could be 150-200 pounds lighter and be that much
closer to a life free from this terrible disease, so what the hell is wrong
with me? Each day that goes by “my way”
seems less and less of a viable option and actually starts to look like the
insanity it actually is.
The rest of the day was good. I have been watching Undercover boss on Netflix,
it’s nice to watch a nice positive show, plus the damn thing always makes me
cry *chuckles* yet I keep watching it.
Goals for the day
Pray & Meditate
Submit meal plan (done)
Pray before and after my meals
Text my food sponsor before and after meals
Pray
Be of service where I can
Take recovery actions through my day
Pray and meditate before bed
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